A true married weekend



Time to cut the cake!

 This weekend turned out to be my dream of what married life would be. To some, my weekend would seem dull and boring but to me, it was magical! Strap yourself in, here is my exciting weekend.

Friday
After working for what seemed like a 20 hour day (in actuality it was 7 hours), I raced home to get ready for our first dinner party with our engaged friends N&A. What a blast, C and I worked really well together! While C worked on his famous BBQ beer can chicken, I wiped the bathroom down, cleaned up the living room and vacuumed. While C was outside, I cleaned up the kitchen and started in on my side dishes and dessert. Thanks for my wonderful kitchen aid stand-mixer, my cream whipped for dessert as I put together one of the best dressings I have ever made:

Warm Gorgonzola Dressing.
4 strips maple bacon
3/4 cup of olive oil
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp salt
1 clove of minced garlic
2 oz of crumbled Gorgonzola Cheese
handful of toasted slivered almonds

Cook bacon until very crispy, put to side. Toast slivered almonds in a bit of bacon fat. put to side. In a blender mix olive oil, red wine vinegar, white sugar, salt, garlic and cheese until smooth. Put into sauce pan, add crumbled bacon and almonds. Heat and serve on green spinach.

 After that was done, C helped set the table and chop the veggies for the meal while I prepared our appetizer of caprese salad with smokey vinegar and rosemary olive oil. The night was so much fun, two couples making chit chat and dreaming of joint vacations. Hearing about N&A's wedding planning so far was a blast! I remember the fun initial planning, when people were asking questions and looking at you with awe when you said where you were getting married. Their wedding is sure to be a good time and happens to fall on our first year anniversary weekend! What a blast to remember our wedding and celebrate our friends commitment. When they left, we hugged and said how grateful we were for friends like them and how happy we were to share our first married dinner party with them.

On Saturday, as C slept I finished cleaning up the kitchen, emptied the dishwasher, made coffee and started on three loads of laundry. While watching Oddities on Discovery Channel, we drank our coffee and ate my homemade egg mcmuffins with the left over maple bacon - amazing. Finally it was time to shower and get ready for the day. I jumped in the shower first, since I take the most time. Sadly, the shower head broke and hit me on my mouth. Startled and shaking I ran out of the shower to a man watching racing videos who was not so happy to be interrupted. He asked, "What did you break?" With a quivering voice I said, "the shower head fell off and hit me in the face. It hurts." With that the tears started to flow. C went to fix the shower and I sat on the couch, in tears and checking to see if my teeth were broken. He came out, telling me it needed a part that we can get at Canadian Tire. He proceeded to hug me and tell me it was all ok. That moment I became aware, I was truly not alone and had a man who cared about my teeth. Joyful.

The feeling of over the moon love didn't stop after a trip to Ikea for a dresser and Canadian Tire for the part. It only grew as we went to visit my ill grandma and see our nephews. I was happy. Happier than I knew. I really did love this man!

Sunday, another great day. It started off with a very nice welcome back to Church after getting married. It was a thrill to hear Mr. and Mrs. Martin and sit once again among our friends in the place we said I do. I had to hold back the tears through-out the service at the memories of the greatest day of my life. After we grocery shopped, ate food, ironed, changed the bed and watched Myth Busters on Discovery.

This weekend was exactly as I wanted it to be. We did all the married people things, like errands and laundry but most of all I actually took a breath to feel just how happy I am. We can get really busy but to have weekends like this reminds me of what I always dreamed a marriage would be, full of love and laughs. I have a good man and I am blessed.

What's yours is mine...or is it?

I knew getting married would be an adjustment - but an ever bigger one is living with a boy. I have lived on my own for so long, I wasn't really expecting my space to be challenged or that I would actually like it. For us there are four rooms which we spend the majority of our time: kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom. All rooms used to just be mine and now, there is somebody else's stuff in there. How have things changed? Well let's start with the kitchen.

Kitchen:
This is my favourite room in the house. It allows me to get out of my head and just be creative. It's relaxing and fun - most of the time. I hate clutter. I hate having a lot of stuff and I hate a full fridge where you can't find anything or a full freezer with frost bitten meat or bread. When C moved in, we did a big grocery shop. Not only did my weekly grocery bill double, but my fridge is now full of foods and juices I would never have had before. I must admit, I was a little anxious about having such a full and unorganized fridge, however after moving things around I can honestly say that I am rolling with it and continue to keep a full fridge and even drink juice every so often!

Living Room:
My tv, my couch, my tv....yes I am a tv junkie. I love watching my reality tv (The Bachelorette is starting to get on my nerves though...Bentley is gross, get over him miss Ashely) and I love to watch the Young and the Restless. What's the problem? There is a boy watching tv with me who does not like those shows, not he likes to watch cars or How's it's Made etc. How do you adjust to having your remote taken over? This is one to work on. So far we've been good at sharing but I bet C will not be so pleased after our honeymoon phase is over.

Bedroom:
I sleep in a ball in the corner of the bed and I don't move all night. When I get up in the morning, I don't have to make the bed. All I do is pull my cover over, put on my throw pillows and go. C throws all the blankets around and take the entire bed. How strange it is to have to remake the bed everyday. I miss the easy days of just putting my blanket  back up.

Pillows...I have a pillow that I sleep on that's cozy and wonderful. C did not. After some restless nights, C felt his pillow was the culprit. Being the doting wife I am, I gave him my pillow, my fluffy wonderful pillow. I now have the crappy pillow and he sleeps like a baby. hmm...good thing I love him so much.

Dirty laundry....how many times did I used to do laundry for myself? About once or twice a week. I changed my sheets every two days and that was it. Now with C, laundry has gone through the roof. Not only do I have to do at least three loads each time, but I have to do it more than once a week. I am starting to feel like a cleaner. Maybe he'll tip me for my services?

Bathroom:
My bathroom always smelled good and was always clean. I was in for a huge surprise - when C shaves...his hair sticks to everything. I now have to wipe the bathroom down everyday and on top of that scrub the sink hard to get those little hairs off. How my dad never made a mess, I will never know. C is good though, he does wipe it down after he's shaved, however, my definition of clean is much different!

So, here we have it. Living with a boy is changing how I do things but I can honestly say that everyday I wake up happy to be with C. Not only do I get to have the person I love the most with me everyday, but I get to learn more and more about him everyday. There will definitely be some adjusting but at least it's with him.

From Sweet to Martin

Well it's been a while since I've blogged, mostly because I GOT MARRIED!!! That's right, Miss Elizabeth Catherine Sweet is now Mrs. Elizabeth Catherine Martin. I never realized how incredible it would feel to be a Mrs. Sometimes during the day I catch myself looking down at my rings and thinking, wow did I really get married?

Last night I came home from a long day a work, all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch and watch the y&r but when I walked in I was greeted by a handsome man armed with a kiss. Now that's something I can get used to. It actually makes me think, is it really so hard to be married? So, with that in mind I've decided to change up my blog a bit. It's time to chronicle the ups and downs of being Mrs. Martin.

An Insecure Mrs.
Before C and I got married, I was bombarded with concerns for his laundry and meals. I am not a feminist by any stretch, however I do firmly believe that men should help out and women shouldn't have to do everything in the house. The "roles" have changed over time and I for one believe that we should be partners rather than me a servant. Although C did not share the same concerns as others did, I was still really bothered by the notion that women have one role in the house and that is to be the perfect homemaker.

Although the concerns were voiced at every given opportunity, I tried to let it slide off my back. C doesn't think this way so why did I care so much? The fact of the matter was I didn't want to disappoint my new husband, nor did I want anyone to think I wasn't good enough as a wife. The fear and anxiety of not being enough drove me to tears - which culminated for hours after our rehearsal dinner. Thankfully my best friend was staying with me before the wedding. She kept reassuring me that I was going to be the best wife and C was lucky to get me. That paired with C actually telling me himself that he was so excited and happy to be marrying me helped sooth my fears...for the time being.

It wasn't long after we came back from the honeymoon the concerns started again. My frustration grew more and more this time. I couldn't help with wonder, how do other people deal with the pressures of being a wife? My friend G has been married for quite sometime and has felt a lot of the same pressures. It was so nice to hear that I wasn't alone or crazy for feeling so disheartened. Her solution - make clear boundaries with the husband from day one. Don't get into a rut of being a housewife, split the responsibilities and keep the communication open about what you are feeling or if you feel overwhelmed. She also said to talk to C about what I was feeling - let him know how hurt and upset I was getting. Good advice I thought, so I decided to talk to C. What a man! He was on my side and totally understood. I started to feel better and better. I can do this wife thing.

As we got back to our daily routine, it started again. Questions about how I was as a wife. First of all you must know that I am a great cook and love to cook. C and I eat very well and C helps a lot in the kitchen. He is a master with the bbq and I am the master of baking/inside cooking. If I am going to be home late, C bbq's. If I am home on time - I cook. Easy! I baked a homemade lasagna from scratch for my dad for fathers day. He has raved about it ever since. SEE I AM A GOOD COOK!

Secondly, if I am making something for dinner that can be taken as lunch, C gets that for lunch. If not, then whatever I am making for me he gets. If he doesn't like it - he is welcome to go out to eat or make his own lunch. I am not the lunch lady and I refuse to make special meals just for him to consume at work. C has loved every meal I have given him, so far not an issue.

Thirdly, I have been doing my own laundry for YEARS. I have been on my own for almost 10 years. I clearly know how to keep my clothes clean - and not ruin them. C's clothes have been washed, ironed, folded and put away in the same manner I do mine. Again, if he doesn't like it he can do it himself but he is happy with my launder skills and smells good everyday. I would say a win.

So, what's the problem? Even though I can cook, clean and do laundry people still ask me what I am doing and if I am doing things "the right way". What does that even mean? So my ten years of living on my own has taught me nothing? My mother didn't teach me how to do things like laundry or cooking? Actually she did and did a very good job. She instilled in us kids the importance of being independent and being clean. Everything I have learned about being a grown-up and doing housework has been from my mom. If I sound defensive - it's because I am. I am sick of being treated like I don't know how to live or to live with somebody.C keeps reminding that he is thankful and happy to be with me...but why does this still nag at me?

My friend O explained that when she got married people were always making passive aggressive jokes about her not knowing how to cook or how she shrinks things. Her marriage actually started to fall apart because of the constant badgering. She said she didn't feel like she was enough - that she would never measure up. The more people talked about it, the more she felt depressed. Her husband didn't seem to notice. After only nine months of marriage, it was over. She couldn't take the pressure. Her husband was in shock, but in her mind he didn't stick up for her so he believed what others were saying. She felt she had a F at being a Mrs.

Although I am not even close to that point, I understand where she is coming from. Insecurities come out when people make you feel less than. You start to question everything you do and try that much harder to be better. Thankfully C is very supportive and appreciative of all the work I have been doing. So much so I baked him cookies last night!

How I have decided to deal with people's concerns for his well-being...ignore. I plan to remove myself from people who make me feel less than and be around those who are supportive. At the end of the day C and I have a lot of love and I will protect that love with everything I have got.

Till next time - stay fabulous!