Your best accessory: Friends

I haven't been writing much lately. It's not because I haven't reached my goals, I have but somehow things have become overwhelming and stressful. The past few months have been a ride for me, some with amazing ups and some with real downs.

Last night at Bible Study I was struck by the passage we read.Philippians 1:6 says, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." The grace that God gives is amazing. With my life feeling out of control, I lost the sight that God has a plan for my life, no matter how imperfect I may be, He loves me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

For months I have been dealing with issues around friends, their loyalty and feeling blamed for certain relationships breaking. Last night, I couldn't sleep. I took to my Bible and I took to paper. I started by writing out those people to whom I have felt hurt by and those who I have not yet forgiven. I know that we are supposed to forgive, because God forgives us, but somehow I can't seem to always forgive. In particular, those who have tried to break my relationship with my fiance and those who do not support our relationship. It's something that is very special to me, a relationship that I believe is meant to be. The man and I have a connection that is indescribable. In my times of despair, I go to him and he is there to pick me up. In times of great joy, he is the one I want to run to. No matter what is happening, we are a team and get through everything together. However strong we are, people can have a huge affect on our relationship. With certain friends not in the picture, or not supporting our relationship the stress can become more prominent than the reasons we fell in love and decided to get married.

After writing for a while I realized that I was deeply hurt that some people, who called themselves friends, do not support our relationship and have tried to create friction. I have always believed that you can tell a lot about a person by their friends. It made me questions the motives behind each person. Sometimes you can't predict what people are going to. Perhaps they are not happy in their lives, maybe they are jealous of our relationship. I don't know if I will ever know the answer to the questions, but all I can do is pray for them, the relationship and the stress it can cause all those involved.

I can't change how people feel and I can't change how they act but I can change the way I act and feel. For months I have been trying to forgive, but maybe I am not forgiving myself. I put a lot of trust into those people and the break of trust was a huge blow to me. I felt stupid for not seeing the signs before, even when those close to me pointed out that I should be careful. Sometimes other's can see more than you can. Why didn't I clue in?

I like to think of myself as a rather trusting person. I see good in people and I focus on that. My life has taught me, you can trust fully with your whole heart but be aware of those you are trusting. Looking back I can see warning signs, but I wanted everybody to get along. Even after I felt a betrayal or hurt, I would try and get past it. Forgive and forget. Sometimes though, forgetting isn't always easy. I have gone out of my way to make things right with all the people. I sucked up my pride to try and smooth things over for those I love the most. Unfortunately, the lack of response and caring towards me and my feelings has caused me to write those people off. I want nothing to do with them. I can forgive what they did but I cannot allow myself to be bullied and hurt.

I was left with more questions. If God can give grace to all people, even those who tried to kill Jesus, why can't I try to let those people into my life? Can I ever truly forgive them? How can I show grace?

With so many questions, I did learn that even when I am at my weakest God is in control. But He's not just in control of my life, He's in control of those people's lives as well. God has a plan, and all I can do is have faith. I may not understand but someday I will. God will use what has happened in the way He sees fit. Most of all, last night's written journal of pain turned into one of joy. I have amazing things in my life. I have an incredible family, who love me unconditionally. I have the best friends I could ever imagine. Ones who always stick up for me and are always on my side. They pick up me up when I am down and love me for who I am. Finally, I have a man who I love and loves me. A man who I am going to spend the rest of my life with - no matter what happens we have each other to lean on.

So, this is a long post but one that is straight from my heart. I hope everybody who reads this blog sees the love they have in their lives and stops to focus on it today, tomorrow and everyday. Take a look at those around you, those who love you and support you. Life can feel out of control, but have faith there is a plan and people are in your life for a reason.

Remember - your friends are your best accessory!
xoxo

Week 3: Don't stop believing.

Hi all!

Well I am in week 3 of bootycamp now and boy am I nervous for next weeks weigh in. I don't want to have sucky results, so for this week and next week (with the exception of Saturday - I have to at least try the deep fried butter balls at the EX - it's important to life), I am amping up my weight loss. I am taking stairs where ever I can (even though it hurts to move my legs up) and making better meal choices. Here is my meal plan for the next few weeks.
Morning:
2 Scrambled Eggs - This means I have to wake up early enough to make breakfast before I leave for work - arg - but thanks to my mama I have fresh eggs. I should visit her more often!
Veggie - With my scrambled eggs I like to have something to make them more exciting. Lately it's been tomato's my mom gave me when I was visiting her. She grew them herself, which makes me remember when I lived at home and we had breakfast as a family every morning before school. I have great parents!!!
Coffee - I will not cut this out. I can't and I won't! I have cut out the cream. It's very hard to drink black coffee. Lately I have cheated and put half & half in, sadly I must cut this out.
Lemon Water - Right after my shower, I down a glass of lemon water to jump start my day. I have no idea if this works but I feel good after I drink it and it's a glass of water!

Mid-Morning Snack:
V8 juice - I have to make sure I have enough salt in my system, since I have low blood pressure. V8 juice gives me exactly the boost I need, plus it makes me full for a couple hours!

Lunch:
Salad: My salad is not just any salad, no it's a super salad with chick peas, butter lettuce, celery, tomato's, cucumber, green peppers and balsamic vinegar. To top it off I normally have tuna, but sometimes switch to chicken. Depends on my mood!
Water: I try to drink 2 cups of water just with lunch. By this time I hopefully have drank up to 4 glasses. I have to pee a lot but at least it gets me up from my desk.

Dinner:
Meat: I'm allergic to shellfish and salmon, so I can't eat those which are normal diet foods but I do love to eat red meat and chicken - so that's what I shall have!
Veggies: Steamed or raw, veggies are my new best friend! I love zucchini- so I am going to eat a lot of grilled zucchini and chicken! I will also eat more broccoli - no cheese sauce :(
Water: More water - must keep drinking!!!


Ok - so that's my plan! As for week 3 of bootycamp, I do feel a big difference in myself. I can see where the inches are coming off, and I can see some toning happening - never thought I would say that! Yesterday was really painful though. I was sweating soooooo much - my hair was soaking and not one inch of my clothes were dry. Speaking of clothes - what would possess a girl to come to class wearing a push up bra? NOW I am not saying that you can't look good while working out, we all know I love fashion but come on, who are you trying to impress? We don't want to see you fall out of your little tank top - that I own but only wear under a sweater. You know the ones with the lace on top - nobody wants to see it - so please put it away. Thanks.

Back to me - today I feel bloated and tired. My legs hurt from the squats, my arms are sore from the push-ups and tricep push-ups, my shoulders hurt and mostly my abs hurt - especially when I sneeze or cough. It's a different sore though - I actually am happy to feel the pain. I know that I am getting stronger, but the bloating part - not fun! I read on the bootycamp forum that this is normal and it's just my body adjusting to the new exercises - but still - not in such a good mood today.

Funny story - yesterday when were doing these intense leg lifts that gave me a charlie horse, but Sandra told me to work through the pain and I did - which I can now feel today - anyway...my favourite bootycamper B, made me laugh soooo hard. When we had finished, she grabbed her legs and tried to do a split over her head - she said it was to take the focus of the pain away - but really it was the funniest thing I have ever heard/scene. Oh man, we laughed soo much. B cracks me up. Without her I don't think I would have so much fun - she seriously makes it fun every minute. Plus we have the same humour as Sandra - which makes it a big laughfest!

Onto laughing, my group is funny!! Not only do we work hard, but we laugh a lot and that makes it fun. Sandra is AMAZING. I really can't say it enough. She makes us laugh and fight all at the same time. B and I always look at each other and just laugh - sometimes no words need to be said!

Well...that was a lot of updating but let's hope my results are good next Thursday and let's hope B decides to stay for the next 4 weeks! I hope she does!!!

Till next time,

E xoxox

Why I do not weigh myself

Well, we are now finished week two of bootycamp. Now I have to say, bootycamp is still the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding.

Here is my new beef, weight. I weighed myself day one for bootcamp. OK - I saw the number and thought - not bad, 10 pounds and you'll be where you want to be. Actually for me - mistake. I started to eat as small of meals as I could and cut out all the carbs. I was so dizzy and tired that after two days I ate an insane amount of sushi. So now, I am eating healthy, often and not limiting my carb intake. I have cut out a lot of carbs and made better decisions about what carbs I eat - but I eat them. I can't survive a full day's work on nothing but salad in my system! I am just not that kind of girl. Back to the weight - I weighed myself this morning after last nights bootycamp - down five pounds but there is a huge difference in my pants - more than five pounds. Which leads me to believe that I am actually gaining muscle and am not going focus on the number. It doesn't mean anything to me, it's how I look in my clothes! And my clothes are looking good! Everything is just a little bit big - in just two weeks! I can see a difference and I feel different.

Feeling different might have a lot more to do with the fact that Sandra, our instructor, pushes us and makes us go past our pushing point each time. She is so amazing that I have signed up for four more weeks. That means, eight weeks of bootycamp. I am confident that my inches are going to really come off after the six week mark. Well, let's hope because I have a wedding dress to fit into!!!

I think my favourite thing about bootycamp so far are the girls in my group. We have a real variety of personailites and ages. I love laughing and motivating each other. I have especially enjoyed meeting a new Canadian! Without her, I may not be having so much fun and laughter! She motivates me and has similar feelings about people in our group! With every group of girls, there are always somebody who feels above the rest of the group. I understand thinking you are the shizzle, but if you don't have the goods to back it up, stop the attitude. AND btw - if you bring a three year old ugly coach purse to your bootycamp and say loudly that your new coach purse shouldn't be put on the ground, expect to be made fun of. I am not perfect but hey, at least I know I am working hard and that everybody in the group is too.  Ok - that maybe a vent - but she had it coming :) hahah

I am really excited to see what the next few weeks have in store for me. I have a goal - and I can see it starting already! I hope everybody has had a great weekend and remember to eat right and exercise - don't starve yourself! REMEMBER - strut your stuff on the catwalk of life! Enjoy your life and own your body.

xoxo E

 

Name of the game: SORE

Well, last night kicked my butt! My first ever booty camp may have been the hardest physically draining thing I have ever done. Although I found it really hard and didn't seem to be able to complete everything with the ease and grace I had hoped, I did get the best workout I have ever had. For those who don't know what bootycamp is like, this is how my experience went!

First, I got there a little early - to make sure I knew exactly where to go and to get myself pumped. There was a class just finishing, so I sat back and watched them. I almost left - it looked so hard and I kept thinking, how am I supposed to do that??? Well, it was time for my class. As the other ladies strolled away. I set up my mat and met some of the girls in my group. Everybody is really nice and most of all, everybody except one girl (who was really motivational to us!) had never done bootycamp before. We were all virgins - that helped a lot! I didn't feel alone - I felt like I could do it because they could do it!

So - we started. Within minutes I was sweating and I hate to sweat. I didn't want the other girls to think I was really bad and out of shape, so I pushed myself to keep going and push past the sweat. Within a couple more minutes we were doing push-ups. Now, let me tell you - I don't do push-ups and can't even do a real one. I can only do them on my knees. I was thrilled to see that almost everybody else was doing them on their knees! Success - I did them. By this time, my arms were burning - so it was a welcome change to do some lunges. Never say that phrase again! I had no idea how many types of lunges there could be. HARD! I am sweating through my clothes (thank God I wore black) and everything was shaking. I thought I was going to throw up. Well, then we had to run. Oh gosh, more running, but this time it was zig zags. Then back to do more triceps, lunges, push-ups, abs, legs, running, lunges, lunges, lunges - ahhh stretch!

I have never felt so many feelings at once: throw-up, shake, burn, don't be a baby, don't disappoint, other people are doing it so can you, remember your wedding dress, if your sister can do it so can you, ouch this hurts, oh I can't breathe, no I can do this, count out loud, find something to focus on, there are so many bugs, breathe, you're doing it, crap you just fell, get back up, drink some water, no you'll have to pee, stop thinking and just work work work work, wow we're done and I want more!

So here are my thoughts, you will surprise yourself. You don't have to athletic to do bootycamp. You don't have to be able to do push-ups. You don't have to know how to do anything, they teach you and push you to your breaking point and then a little above that. At one point I felt like giving up - I was dripping with sweat, my legs felt like jelly and I thought I was going to throw up but I was pushing past it and trying to do the best I could do. They don't ask for more! The other girls are a great motivation. I am excited to get to know them and most of all change our bodies together. Working out in a community fills some social need I have but pushes me to do my best. I can't give up because I'd be letting these girls down and we can push each other to succeed. We are all there for different reasons, but we can help each other push past the pain and reach our goals.

Finally I just want to say how AMAZING my instructor Sandra is. Not only is she a great example of how to be fit and own your body, she pushes you past where you think you can go. She doesn't yell at you or make you feel stupid, rather she holds your head up and gives you the perfect motivation. I am so lucky to have her teaching me and showing me how to succeed. I do not want to disappoint her - so I am going to work as hard as possible! I will make her proud!!!

So with that I say, don't quit and don't give up! You can do it - and you can make a difference in your body. Focus on what you want and push past the pain. The next day you will feel sore - so sore in fact that I did not do my hair today - hurt to much to put my hands up. BUT it's worth it. I feel really confident that I can drop the inches and tone myself up! I can feel the muscles already - and that means they are working. With an incredible instructor like Sandra and amazing bootycamp team members, I know I will reach my goal. It may be hard but it's worth it. If you want to challenge yourself, do bootycamp. I have my sister and my friend Nat to thank for pushing me to do bootycamp! It works for them and it will work for you.

Tomorrow is another bootycamp - wish me luck!

xoxo E

Bootycamp starts tonight

Hello there all your fashionisa's! It's been to long since I blogged and well, I am taking you on my journey to fitness! As some of you know, I am engaged. I have already found my wedding dress and am having it altered in just a few short months. So - I decided I wanted to look like a movie star for my big day. After seeing how amazing my sister Sarah and my friend Natasha did, I knew this may just be the push I need to be lean for my wedding day.

Ok - so first thing is first. You can't be a fashionista without coordinating your outfit right? Even while working out, I pride myself on looking my best. First I am a shoe addict. I knew that without the right sneaker I would not be able to properly work out. I took my fiance on a hunt for the right shoe. It took many hours and some sweating but we found the perfect shoe at the Adidas outlet store in Vaughn Mills. They have great little blue accents and incredible support- the perfect shoe for me!

Onto the clothes! Thanks to sister Sarah, I went to Joe Fresh and bought the cutest work out gear! I am so excited to wear them. I feel really good in the little shorts and tank top. I have pants to put on over my shorts but considering that it' 40 degrees out and 100% humidity - I'll take my chances with just the shorts!

So - what kind of fashionista would I be without coordination? Well, my yoga mat - it's the same blue that's in my shoes! Whoot whoot for coordination!

Onto the serious part of the blog...
Why do I want to attend booty camp? I know that I will never be a size 0 and I know that I will never look like a stick. I love food too much! But since I have gotten engaged, I wanted to be the best I can be on my wedding day. I don't care about my weight, it's about how I feel. Lately I haven't been strick on my diet and have crept back up to a size 6. It's time to get that back down! My goal is go down to a size 4. I know that with booty camp I will be able to lose inches and be toned! Most of all - confidence is key to any fashionista. So, ladies - don't starve youself, energize yourself. I hope you all join me on this journey!

Till tomorrow
xoxo E

GLEEFUL

There are only a couple shows that have caused my social life to be put on the back burner and Glee is one of those shows. Since the beginning, I have been a major gleek! Although in highschool I was into drama and choir, I never got to really do competitions like they do. I feel I can live a fantasy in one hour. Glee takes me into another world - a world of song, dance and fashion. Did you notice that each character has their own personal style? I could go on forever about their style but there are just a few who really stand out to me.

Rachel, the wannabe star, her sweet yet want to be bad sweaters and mini-skirts. Her fashion reminds me of an early Britney Spears. She was sweet and school girlish but with a twist (and yes when Hit me Baby One more Time came out I did get furry hair accessories - not my finest fashion moment but it's Brit Brit so it's ok!) I do like how this season she is getting a little more stylish - but not over the top. I'm excited to see where she goes.

Mr. Schuester, the hot and talented teacher (insert pause to drool). With his incredible head of wavy hair that makes you want to reach through the tv and touch it, Mr. S has a hip yet appropriate. Did you notice that his fashion became less formal and more funky when he started working with the glee club? His suit turned into a fantstic jean and suit jacket. He has a major Justin Timberlake vibe - who I think normally dresses sharp!

Mercedes Jones, the soul powerhouse. Her style is just as big as her voice. Every episode I am excited to see what she has on. I could never pull off her looks but I take parts of her look and make it work for me. I don't do sneakers and I could never pull off her foot atire but I love her graphic tees and jackets. She always looks funky and always gives me chills when she hits her high notes.

Although I like all the characters and respect their talent and style, these three always stand out and always make me take notice. Tonight is the night for glee! Enjoy and let me know who you thought looked good!

How to cheer in style!

I love baseball! It's my favourite sport, although it's just edging out Hockey. When I was younger my Aunty Jo used to take my sister and I to Blue Jays games. Some of my best memories are the Jays game. Not only did we get to hang out with our cool and fun Aunty Jo, but we got to yell, boo, eat hot dogs and even high five total strangers! Life seemed perfect for those few hours in those sticky plastic seats. I used to admire those who dressed for the occassion with their cute Jays hats, shirts and signs! I never did understand why girls would wear short skirts or heals to the game - I understand now a little more but I still think it's stupid. Those seats can get sticky - and you can't really cross your legs very easily. Just the other day I was at the opening game and I saw girls wearing those short little skirts. I saw more then I wish to have seen. It got me to thinking, why can't girls dress appropriatly for the game?

I understand that some girls are desperate and some have no self-esteem, but seriously how comfortable can you be at a baseball game in little skirts and heals? I would like to think that a guy likes a girl in a cute, stylish, comfortable outfit just as much as a slutty ones. So, what do I wear? I always try to include some Blue Jay Blue in my outfit. I normally will wear jeans but when it's hot and the dome is open - shorts - not booty shorts but shorts. My choice of shoe is a flat closed toe, mainly because I hate people stepping on my feet but again when it's hot - flip flops. This year I have bought a fantstic vintage inspired Blue Jays tee - which I am very excited to wear to the next game!

Whatever your sporting event may be, girls I beg of you, don't show your booty. We are there to watch a game, cheer and boo (inset major boo for Alex Rios here - hisssssssssss). Dress for the occassion - not the man. Fashion is for you, it's what inspires you. Trying to impress somebody else is just as bad as buying a fake Fendi.

REMEBER: The street is your catwalk. So, walk it out!