2012 to 2013

As I reflect back on the past year, I can only say I'm so happy 2012 is gone. 2012 was a year of change; I switched jobs, went to Jamaica, watched my friends get married, made a lot of tasty treats, threw my dad a 60th birthday party, became the MOH for my sister-in-law and lost one of the greatest people I have ever known.

April 1, 2012 - The Worst Day of my Life

For months, I had been back and forth from the hospital visiting my grandma. She had fallen ill and taken in an ambulance to the hospital. It took weeks, but she started to get better and was getting ready to come home. She then fell, broke her hip and was taken into a successful surgery. After some time, she fell ill again and this time her body had no fight, she passed away in the morning on April 1, 2012.

At first I thought it was a sick joke, there is no way my strong grandma could be gone. The woman who I went to for prayer, advice and a good joke. No, this was not happening. I called my sister, who informed me that it did happen. I'd seen grandma the day before. She was breathing better, took communion and when I left said I love you. The last words we said to each other, I love you. I never got to say goodbye, I thought I had more time. The next few days were a blur. I remember at her visitation just wanting to run away and pretend it was all a bad dream. My grandma, gone. For weeks, it was hard to get out of bed. I didn't want to be around anybody and certainly did not want to hang out with anybody over the age of 60.

While planning my dad's 60th birthday party I realized, grandma might have left this earth in body but her spirit lives on in everybody she touched. Grandma was the most giving person I had ever known. If you were cold, she'd give you her jacket. She gave everything she had to anybody who needed it. She never complained and always found the good in people. She cared so deeply. Every night for hours, grandma would be on her knees by her bed, praying for everybody she'd met. She never forgot a soul. I will never forget her love of cooking and her amazing Sunday roast beef dinners, shortbread cookies and guy squares. She has inspired me to become the best cook I can be, always keeping true to what she taught me - with butter everything is good! The thing that will always stick with me the most about grandma was her love. She loved us with her whole heart and would do anything that made us happy. No matter what we did, she always loved us, was proud of us and told us so. It seems fitting our last words were, I love you.

Losing her has left a huge void in my life. Nobody can ever replace her, or even come close. All of our memories will stay with me forever and I can only hope that one day when I walk through those pearly gates, she will be there to greet me with a story, a song and perhaps a guy square.

Goals for 2013 
I have a few goals for 2013, some may be lofty but I am determined to actually do these!

1. Get outside more: Well, for those who know me, I hate going outside. It's always cold or stinky. This year, I want to learn to love the outdoors. I will start with skiing and then see where I go next!
2. Buy a house: After 1.5 years of marriage, it's time to buy a house. Hopefully the summer of 2013 will be the summer the Martins buy a house with king sized bed.
3. Learn guitar: While I wallowed in self-pity last year, I listened to a lot of Johnny Cash. I need to learn Ring of Fire.
4. Do my devotions everyday: Some mornings, I am too tired to wake up early to do devotions. This year, I vow to do them everyday and not skip one!
5. Show those I love how much I do care: My grandma always showed love, I want to do the same. This year, I hope I can show those I care about the love I have for them. Let the lovefest begin!

        

Spring 2012

I keep hoping Spring will come early this year. I am so over wearing boots and heavy coats - they are so hard to make look adorable. Spring is my favouite time of year. It's a time of rebirth and growth, a time of hope and joy. The birds are chirping, flowers budding and to me Spring brings the best fashion. It's the first time after months of being stuck in jackets and boots that you can style yourself the way you want and top it off with the latest in outerwear. This year, the trends are AMAZING. They are easy to wear, can be added to any outfit and can go from day to night easily. Below are my top three fashion finds for Spring 2012.

Colour blocking:   

My favourite trend of Spring 2012 is colour blocking. Now most people who know me know I do not wear colour often. I am a huge fan of black - but with colourful accessories and shoes. This season however, you will see me sporting this trend all the time. What is colour blocking (CB) you may be asking. CB is two or more colours in blocks to make your fashion statement. The colours are usually complementary - however the more daring of people chose to clash in just the right way. PLEASE REMEMBER TO NOT USE MORE THAN 3 COLOURS - YOU WILL LOOK LIKE RAINBOW BRIGHT.

 How to incorporate CB into your wardrobe this year?

• Wear coloured pants. If you are heavier on the bottom, don't wear light pants on the bottom - chose a deeper green or blue.
• Accessorieze with colourful belts, scarves, shoes, purses etc
• Don't forget the SHOES!

 Forever 21

BCBC

Steve Madden

Bold Prints:
A very fun trend to wear for Spring. Runways were full of competing head to toe prints from geometric to floral. I think prints can work for you or against you. Remember your body shape and wear what will make your body look it's best. All dresses below from h&m.

Great for Pear shape

Great for Apple Shape

Perfect for those straight bodies who need a defined waist 

50's Style:
This Spring is also bringing back the femininity and grace of the 50's. From cropped Chanel inspired jackets to elegant and tailored shapes - women's curves will be on display. Enjoy pencil skirts and perfect Sunday dresses. All outfits below from H&M.

Beautiful and flirty

Perfect cropped jacket 

Pencil skirt with colour blocking! 

There are so many trends for Spring 2012 but these were just a few of my favourites. Enjoy being a girl and enjoy putting your personal spin on these awesome trends. 

How do you deal with stress?

Well, the past few weeks have been some of the most stressful weeks of my life! First, C and I were busy every night and weekend. We couldn't find time to do anything together. This really frustrated me. I get that people want to see us, and he has his hobbies but I can only go so long without spending time together. This made us learn, we need to say no sometimes. If people get mad, so be it. It's our first year of marriage - we can be selfish with our time. We'll never get this time back. Last weekend we finally spent time together - just the two of us! It definitely gave me the boost I needed.

So with things on the relationship front on track, work decided to kick my butt. Everyday seemed worse than the last. I can't remember the last time I was so stressed out that I just sat at my desk and cried. Yep, I have turned into an emotional wreck. I dread the feeling of going to work, and I have no idea what will come up each day. This uneasy feeling just does not work for me. I am not usually a negative person, however, I can't seem to dig myself out of my funk. I honestly don't know what more to do. I feel like I am under attack everyday. The worst is that people who I respected and thought had integrity showed their true colours. One thing I have learned, I will never throw anybody under the bus to get attention or to take the heat off of me. I own up to my mistakes, and I will forever stick up for those around me. If others want to play the name game, I can only breathe and know that I have done my best and have done it with integrity, honesty and some Elizabeth flare! 

So today I made a decision, it's time to deal with the stress and look at the positives. I do have some amazing co-workers, who I do look forward to seeing everyday. Co-workers who actually care about more than if I made them look good or not. These are people I shall focus my energy on. I also have a huge community of support in my church. They lift me up and remind me that I am not alone, there is a plan for my life and I must just have faith in that plan. No matter what the situation, I should cast my cares on Him for He cares for us. The best thing, I have the love of a man, who woke up when I was leaving just to say he loved me and that my day was going to be okay. No matter what happens, he loves me and our life together is more important than any job.

So, although I had a teary eyed moment today, I am confident I will buck up and get back to being my happy self. Already tonight I feel so much better. After I got home from work, I decided to do what makes me happy - cook and bake! I made some delicious pumpkin curry for dinner, which unfortunately C was not home for but will enjoy for his lunch tomorrow ;) I also made homemade tomato sauce, which then I turned into a delicious and fresh lasagna. I can't wait to bake this up tomorrow for dinner! To finish off my night, I made pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon brown sugar buttercream icing.  They don't look exactly like I thought, but they sure do taste good. I seem to have taken out all my aggression on frosting and sauce, such a freeing night!

To finish off, these bad few weeks have taught me some really good lessons.
1. I love to cook/bake. I hope one day I can own my own little bakery/restaurant - time to dream!
2. I have a lot of people who support me and I shouldn't focus on those who want to tear me down - focus on those who love me. I have amazing friends, family, co-workers and my husband!
3. When I wear 5-inch heals and a cute outfit at work - I feel like I can take on the world. When you're having an off day, try and dress up in your favourite outfit. It's amazing what a pair of shoes and some pantyhose can do!

How things change when you are married

Recently I read a study that suggested the first two years of marriage set the stage for the next 13 years. The University of Texas looked at 156 couples from the time they were married to their 13 year anniversary. Researchers found:


• 68 couples were happily married
• 32 couples were unhappily married
• 56 couples had divorced

The researchers discovered "differences between the happily married and unhappily married groups were apparent right after they tied the knot." Those who divorced within the first two years showed signs of disillusionment and negative feelings within the FIRST TWO MONTHS! They also found that those who were happily married had positive feelings for their spouses for the first two years of marriage.

This study fascinated me. Within the first two months of marriage, people who had negative feelings towards each other. Ok so although the first couple years are said to be the most difficult, I think they can also be the most exciting and joyous. You are learning about each other in a completely different way. There is just so much to learn about one another and so much to express to one another. It’s amazing what you learn – from how many little hairs get stuck all around your clean sink from him shaving his face to smiling when you wake up every day when you see his face.

So it made me wonder, what could cause disillusionment within the first two months of marriage? The study found that the divorced couples avoided conflict in the first two years of marriage. When they did fight they often fought about in-laws, lack of respect, finances, commitment on time to other things, substance abuse, mental/physical abuse and unrealistic expectations. Wow, that is a long list. Anybody who is married or in a serious relationship has probably fought about many of these things.

I can’t say that C and I haven’t fought in our first three months of marriage but I can say that I am only happier that I married him every day. Before we got married we promised each other that we would never go to bed angry. It may not always be the case, but we work hard to talk things out before we go to bed. We also talk a lot about when we are feeling overwhelmed with outside stresses or even stresses between us.

Our biggest source of stress is our lack of time for each other. Since we got married, we have been busy every week/weekend doing something with friends and/or family. It seems we never have anytime to ourselves. Many weekends we have decided that we are going to take them as C&E time, but something has always come up to trump what we doing. I am definitely the type that needs to have a stress free fun day with C. Work has become increasingly stressful and when I see C, I just want it to be us. Unfortunately between his hobby of ralllying and many family functions, we really haven’t spent any time together.

I suppose my expectations were unrealistic. I thought that when we got married, we’d spend weekends going on picnics, wine tasting, walks in the park or watching movies in our pj’s all day long. I had this image of spending time together, holding hands, cuddling and only having eyes for each other. Now we tend to go places, but hang out with different people. I am lucky if we hold hands for a minute. We honestly want to say no to certain functions and spend that time together but we’ve found that people can get really mad and offended if we say no. We’ve actually been really shocked to hear about people feeling that we are not there when we feel we are overwhelmed by the amount of time we spend on others. I suppose getting married isn’t just a change for us, but a change for those closest to us. I think though, what matters most is that C and I get the time we need. We make the time for us. People who get mad, will just have to deal and understand that there are new boundaries to respect and we need to stand up for us and our relationship. I refuse to let the stresses the study found be the demise of my relationship. We love each other and that’s what’s important, more important than somebody being mad we can’t do what we used to do with them.

The newlywed stage of marriage is where you can build the foundation and set the stage for a life-long, meaningful marriage and we intend to enjoy it!

Why I didn't marry my best friend

A trend I’ve been experience lately is the whole idea of marrying your best friend. I have been asked time and time again; did you marry your best friend? People who give their marriage advice say, “Be best friends, that’s the key to a long and happy marriage.” The more people say it, the more I feel like telling them I don’t believe in marrying your best friend. I think marriage is a lot different than friendship. I feel like if I were to be best friends with C, we would turn into roommates rather than husband and wife.


Reason one: LOVE

On the outside, it sounds great to have the best of both worlds: love and friendship. However, there is a difference between love and being in love with each other. Clearly I will not go into the philosophical meanings of love, but I do believe that there are different types of love. I don’t love my best friends the same way I love C. For example, I love my best friend J. Not only do we have the best time with each other, but we really get each other on a different level. She can tell just by my voice or a word I use that something is the matter or I have something to say. 

C and I have similar things in our relationship, but they are on a different level. We talk about everything but it’s really different. I love C from my core, with everything I have. We are a part of each other’s soul, now that is a different love.

Reason two: Romance

I’m just going to throw this out there; the idea of being romantic with J makes me want to puke. We talk, share memories but I don’t ever want to throw it down with her. We are close but not in that way!

With C, our love is passionate. Every time I see him, I feel butterflies. I still wake up thinking, I got to marry you and I am so happy. When we kiss, I still feel weak. People say that feeling doesn’t last forever, but that is where romance comes in. We make it a point to go out together for a date night – no talk of a house, finances or work – we talk about us. We connect on a deeper level – even if it’s just an hour that romance is important in keeping us fresh and not becoming complacent. I think that’s why I still feel like we are kissing for the first time. Every feeling is fresh and I always am happy I married C.

Reason three: Pressure

I heard a statistic that people who believe in perfect soul mates tend to get divorced more often than those who believe it takes work to keep the marriage going. I think believing you are marrying your best friend or your soul mate puts so much pressure on the relationship. It makes you think everything should be perfect. Marriage takes work. It’s not perfect and never will be. I would love to believe that we don’t have to work at it, but we do. Trying to make everything perfect can strain a relationship. Perfection is unattainable and it’s not a word we use to describe our marriage. We are happy, but we work every day to keep our relationship healthy. It’s not a choice you have to make. I love C and I cannot imagine my life with him but we still need to make time for us and keep our relationship fluid. I don’t think putting that kind of pressure on the relationship makes for a healthy, happy and successful one.

There are many more reasons but those are my top three. Although we have a close relationship and have similar attributes that best friends have, we are much more than that. He’s the love of my life. He makes me want to be a better person every day. I think putting that label on it degrades the love we have. It’s deep, it’s intense but most of all it’s made me happier than I have ever been.

Another round of firsts

On July 10 we celebrated C's birthday with a very special Mexican Fiesta party at his cottage. It was a blast! Everybody seemed to have had a great time, plus I got to try out my hand at cooking Mexican foods from slow roasted beef and chicken to dirty rice. It was a feast indeed! A big thank you to our friends for coming and to some new friends K & A for bringing fireworks! That's a way to cap off a great night ;)

After work on Monday, I started to feel really sick. Ah...I had the flu...fever, aches, chills, nausea and many other flu like symptoms. I couldn't eat and could barly move from my bed to the couch. For the first time in mnay years I was not alone...C lived with me. Finally I could be taken care of and not have to figure out how to get gingerale or crackers. It was Tuesday at 10:00pm when I realized, C had not come home and I was alone. The whole week while I was in bed sick with the flu my new husband was working on his car at his parents house, coming home only to sleep and always after I was in bed for hours already. This marked our first fight as Mr. and Mrs. Martin. I have the flu. I cannot move. I cannot go to the store to get myself gingerale or any other items I may need. I was sick.C was busy working on his car, not working on getting me crackers! In those few days of being sick I felt worse than I had felt in a long time. How can you be married, have a partner and not have anybody to take care of you? I cried many times that week - some tears of pure hurt and some of shame that I felt so alone. I still don't really understand how you can avoid your sick wife for a week? I get that life doesn't stop just because I am sick, however I would appreciate a quick check in, some supplies and perhaps a hug before going to work on cars. Yes...the battle continues....cars vs Elizabeth. I hope I win next time.  

After my illness kicked my butt. My sister and her crew came over for a visit. It was so nice to see my nephews and my sister! Seeing them really lifted my spirits. I felt better, I felt people cared, time to move on. On Saturday my mom and aunty joined me for a girls night out - which entailed an incredible dinner at Tundra (Hilton Hotel - amazing summerlicious menu - check it out!). Then we crossed the street and watched Donny and Marie Osmond at the Four Seasons Centre. First, I have been a HUGE fan of Marie Osmand my entire life. Every summer I would watch Gift of Love, which she starred in. I was determined to be her one day...that hasn't happened but I was excited to see her! Sadly, she did NOT perform! No, she was sick...which meant Donny had to do the full show. OH the maddness of people. I have never seen so many Walking on a Cloud wearing laides be so mad. People were screaming for their money back. Instead of yelling, or being upset, we decided to get an upgrade on our tickets. WE had the best view of Donny Osmand...and I must say he has aged well! It was a good show. After we tried to sneak in a hello, however he was too tired to say hello, give an autograph or take a picture with the many women waiting at the stage door. My opinion of him is not as great as it used to be, but hey he's kinda old so I guess he needed a nap. Anyway, the best part of the whole show was enjoying it with my mom and aunt. We always have fun together and never stop laughing. The older I get the happier I am that my family is so awesome. I am a relaly lucky girl. I am determined to do more nights like that - but next time my sister will have to join us! The four of us Sweet/Guy/Newcomb/Martin girls...out on the town! Good times ;)

I am hoping this week turns out to be full of laughter and good times! Stay tuned...another marital story coming soon!

One month in

Well, I can't believe it but yesterday was our one month anniversary Yes folks, C and I have been married for ONE whole month. It still baffles me, I am married. I have a husband. Most days I feel like I am playing house, it's not real - it's just pretend but it's not. So far married life has been a blast. People often ask what my favourite part of it is and I don't know if I can choose just one. I love waking up and seeing C there. I love having two bath towels in the bathroom and the smell of his body wash. I love having so much good food in the fridge - the house is no longer carb free! I love sitting with him on couch watching tv. I love eating dinner every night together. BUT most of all, I love all the laughter we share. I cannot stress how important it is to laugh together. It really makes for a fun relationship and one that I intend to protect at all costs.

It's funny how things have changed for me in just one month. First I am way less stressed out about things. It's really great to have a partner to fall back on if something were to happen. That peace of mind has followed me into work. I am not getting caught up on the small things anymore, I just want to get my job done so I can go home to my husband. Nothing makes me happier than to see the clock change to 4:30pm and I can leave to see my man. I have also started really getting into cooking/baking. I always liked to cook before and would make things when he came over, but i never really made full meals for myself or baked anything substantial. Now that I am married - I cook everyday and at least once a week I bake something.

Last night for our one month I baked a special Italian inspired dinner. First I used my magic bullet (best thing I have ever bought!) to make my bruschetta mixture. I toasted the baguette in a pan with butter - so it was warm, buttery and amazing! For the main course I created our favourite two dishes from Italy. Mine was pasta - so I made cannelloni stuffed with ricotta cheese and spinach then smothered with my homemade tomato sauce and cheese. Chris's favourite was lemon veal, so I found the recipe online of how to make it a true Italian dish and bam we were back in Italy. For dessert I decided to add in a little of home, a fresh Ontario grown Strawberry Pie...and it was delicious! I am very proud of my creation.

So with one month down and a lifetime to go, I am pretty certain my life will be full of love, laughter and excitement.